Whores

WEEK AT A GLANCE

Sunday - Beirut at Bowery was phenomenal!!!  I heart Zach Condon!  See Productshop and Brooklynvegan for photos and reviews.

Monday - fashion loses one of its finest ever.  Isabella Blow dies at 48.  Read tributes from NYT's Cathy Horyn, UK Telegraph's Hilary Alexander and a brief blurb from the Telegraph's new columnist, Jefferson Hack.

I didn't find it necessary to post about the Costume Institute's Paul Poiret gala because everyone either looked bland or blah.  The only one who tried to be different was Kirsten (pictured above), and MJ blew it big time - BIG TIME.  And to think she looked cute-as-a-button when I spotted her at Beatrice Inn Saturday night.  See pics at Style.com.

I didn't bother to go to the Glasslands to see the free Yeah Yeah Yeahs show because I predicted it would be a mess, but shit, did I underestimate the level of messiness!  See Stereogum. 

Tuesday - Kate Moss kicked off the US debut of her line for TopShop with a hoedown at Barneys.

Wednesday - Barneys released the KM line to the common people with a fair amount of fanfare.  NYT 

I haven't stopped by Barneys yet because like a loser - I HAVE A FULL-TIME JOB, but will pop by either the Soho or Chelsea Coops this weekend to check out the wreckage.  Maybe I'll find myself a leftover tanktop with deodorant or foundation stains smeared all over it.  Yay.

Arcade Fire kicked off the David Bowie-curated High Line Festival at Radio City Music Hall.  I've never mentioned it before, but I HATE Arcade Fire.  They remind me of those annoying fucking Drama Club kids in high school who tried to dress cool and funky but failed miserably and tried to be really subversive but just ended up being really fucking annoying... Yeah, that's how I feel about Win Butler and co.  I love this part from Gothamist's write-up of the show and the "problems" with Radio City's security (who sound like they were just doing their job):  "It all started late in the show when Arcade Fire's Win Butler urged the audience to come up to the stage. 'Jesus Fucking Christ,' he said. 'Come up here. What can they do to you?'"   Beat their asses, apparently. 

Look Win, you are not "Jesus Fucking Christ" and you are not Morrissey.  Don't try to emulate Morrissey's notoriously rabid fans rushing the stage by begging your fans to do the same.  Remember, Moz's fans do view him practically as Jebus, and he doesn't have to FORCE them to storm the stage.  They do so willingly.  You see, Morrissey is actually cool and "god-like", and you, Win, are just a poseur!

Ahhh, and to think, it's only Thursday...

WEEKEND | BOOZE, DRAG QUEENS, THE GOOD, the BAD & the QUEEN

I often take New York City for granted.  With all the tacky, annoying bridge and tunnelers, poorly dressed, slow-walking tourists, and obnoxiously expensive condos being built everywhere, I tend to forget what a great place the city really is.  This past weekend’s activities reminded me how much I love New York fucking City.

Friday night I went to see adorable Brooklynites, Matt and Kim, play the Bowery Ballroom.  They were terrific. – high energy, damn catchy songs and cute stage banter.  What wasn’t terrific were the fucktards jumping off the stage (and one idiot from the amps) and crowd surfing and throwing plastic cups of beer all around.  Didn’t crowd surfing go out with grunge?  WTF?  I don’t need their nasty-ass, sweaty bodies rolling on top of me, or their piss-soaked Chuck Taylors kicking me in the head, thanks.

I ventured out to DUMBO Saturday night to check out the variety show Dumbolio at powerhouse Arena.  The highlights of the show were Scotty the Blue Bunny and his crazy, drunken antics which include magic tricks, singing and violin-playing andTaylor Mac , a beautiful, queen in scary drag playing a ukulele and singing songs about love and politics.  She’s smart, talented and fabulous.  You should definitely check her out if you get the chance.

Sunday I returned to Joe’s Pub to check out the always fierce Kiki and Herb.  Kiki wasn’t quite as “on” as she normally is (she seemed a bit down) but it was awesome seeing her go into the crowd singing PJ Harvey’s Rid of Me and sticking her gams in front of people’s faces while wailing “Lick my legs, I’m on fire!  Lick my legs of desire!”  Yes, ma’am!   

I played hooky on Monday and stood out front the Apple Store in Soho for hours waiting for The Good, the Bad & the Queen (pictured).  The band was an hour late arriving but it was worth it to see Damon Albarn, Tony Allen, Simon Tong and Paul Simonon waltz down Prince Street and say hello to them as they sauntered into the store.  The performance was short but sweet and I got to shake Paul Simonon’s hand afterwards.  I’m sorry, I need to repeat that – I SHOOK PAUL SIMONON'S HAND!!!  Holy shit!  The former Clash bassist is cool as fuck and hot as hell! 

So here’s the fashion-related dirt for this post.  I reported a while back that Paul Simonon, who is married to a woman by the name of Tricia, was having an affair with Agent Provocateur’s Serena Rees (who was at the Apple show), who is married to and partners with Vivienne Westwood and Malcolm McClaren’s son Joe Corre.  Rumor has it that when Tricia found out, she and friend, Kate Moss (who models for Agent Provocateur) beat the crap out of Paul.  How fucking H-O-T must that have been???

COUNTDOWN TO FASHION WEEK | 21 QUESTIONS

-In preparation for NY Fall 2007 Fashion Week, New York Magazine asked 10 New York fashion-types (well, 11 if you separate Proenza from Schouler) 21 New York-centric questions.  The questionees include designers Anna Sui, Benhaz Sarafpour, Narciso Rodriguez, Peter Som, Phillip Lim, Proenza Schouler; models Gemma Ward, Jessica Stam, Karolina Kurkova; and makeup artist Pat McGrath. 

From the answers we learn that Jessica Stam, Anna Sui and Pat McGrath all want Oprah to be our next president, while Karolina Kurkova would like to see Angelina Jolie in the Oval Office.  When asked to describe what they do all day at work, Kurkova replies "create fantasy," while Stam haughtily declares, "make clothes look good."  Jack McCollough, one half of the Proenza Schouler team states, "answer silly questions."  As silly as "21 Questions" for New York Mag, Jack?  Click here for all the questions and answers.

-The Toronto Star has an enlightening article with Geordon Nicol (above, far right), one-third of the ubiquitous deejay trio The MisShapes.  Nicol, who is from Mississauga, Canada, eh, is a drama school drop-out.  He moved to New York six years ago at the tender age of seventeen, after breaking up with his first boyfriend.  He survived temporarily on royalties he saved up from child modelling and acting (Goosebumps and Degrassi are on his c.v., don'tcha know!)  He met fellow MisShapes, Leigh Lezark and Greg Krelenstein, at Don Hill's and blah, blah, blah... now their messy, sweaty, weekly party is "the Studio 54 for the high-speed internet generation."  Gag!

Some choice quotes (shall we call them Nicolisms?) from the article include:

-"If I had grandma hair, I'd wear a wig, too," he says in reference to Debbie Harry's surprise appearance one Saturday night in a red wig.

-"I'm having a Big Mac Attack."  Uh... yeah.

-"The great thing is that even if you're ugly, you'll look cool in our photos," he says regarding the thousands of photos taken of revelers at their parties and posted on their website each week.

-"I only wear clothes from Opening Ceremony."  I never realized Opening Ceremony carried leotards!

-"I'm not going to sit and pose with Benjamin Liu," he "snaps into his cellphone."  Liu who was once Andy Warhol's studio assistant and is still a heavy-hitter in the art and fashion worlds.

-"We think more about who is Alvin and the Chipmunks over who is Warhol,"  he muses while "The MisShapes unanimously agree Nicol is Alvin."  Now let's try imaging Alvin the Chipmunk sporting the bowlcut and shredded leotard...  Full article here.

KIKI & HERB | GIVE THEM A TONY!

-Last night, pseudo septuagenarian, lounge act, Kiki & Herb, performed the final of a series of four shows at a packed Joe's Pub.  Though the first couple of songs started off a bit shaky (soundwise), the duo managed to WOW the crowd as always. 

I first saw Kiki & Herb in 2003 during their Coup de Theatre show at the Cherry Lane Theater.  I'm always up for a good drag show (or even a bad one), but their shows are so beyond your average drag show with the hysterical, witty, intelligent and incredibly talented duo belting out mainstream, standard, or indie hits alongside well-written original tunes.  (The Coup de Theatre show included covers by Suede, Radiohead, and Pulp among others.)  Herb (Kenny Mellman) plays the piano like a lounge-lizard pro and Kiki's (Justin Bond) vocal stylings are deep and gravelly.  They effortlessly manage to make all the versions of the songs they cover distinctly their own.  Kiki's onstage banter can be panty-pissing hilarious or politically thought-provoking and infuriating.

I unfortunately missed their huge Carnegie Hall show a few years back when the pair evidently "died" for their fans.  Kiki then took off to the UK for a while and we sadly missed her antics back here stateside.  They recently finished up a five-week run on Broadway at the Helen Hayes Theatre which was, once again, a fun, sharp and surreal experience featuring lots of great original material but included terrific covers of Gnarls Barkley's Crazy, The Cure's Let's Go to Bed, Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of the Heart, Public Enemy's Fight the Power and Scissor Sister's Take Your Mama.  It was really heartwarming to see the talented pair getting some "cred" and more exposure.

Last night's show was a bit darker than usual, starting off with a song in which Kiki declares we are all "waiting for Pete Doherty to die" (someone had to say it!) and leading into various stories involving death (like her having to care for her sister Candi who's dying of "ass cancer"); her plausible theory that the animal kingdom is turning on humans for being selfish assholes who are killing them off and destroying the world; and religion (which included a hysterical song asking God how he became famous).

Among the many amazing medleys and covers, Kiki sang a cancer medley which started off with the "Lalala, lalalalala..." of Kylie Minogue's (recently cancer-free) Can't Get You Out of My Head; a kick-ass version of Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer which segued into Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit (conjuring up images of Rudolph getting Columbine on all of the other fucking, conceited, alienating reindeer!); and a version of The Little Drummer Boy which brilliantly and angrily segued into Jarvis Cocker's newish Cunts are Still Running the World!  For the hipster youngins in the crowd, the pair performed Belle & Sebastian's Fox in the Snow and a cover from Scandinavian, brother/sister freakshow, The Knife.  They finished off the show with a second encore of a chilling cover of Running Up That Hill by Kate's Bush.

Kiki & Herb are a must-see!  The pair are generously giving us a gift for the holidays by performing a Christmas show at the Bowery Ballroom on December 20th.  I highly recommend checking them out!  Click here for tix and here for their website.

JONES CELEBRATES 25, DUFF DOES 17, AND REAL FASHION WHORES!

-Dapper mad hatter, Stephen Jones, celebrated his 25th anniversary in the biz last week with a bash at Debenham House in Holland Park.  With a "Hats and Flowers" dress code, the milliner (who often collaborates with John Galliano) and gracious host had a selection of hats available at the entrance if a reveler arrived chapeau-less.  Read more and see pics from the party here and here.

-Atoosa Rubenstein gets a bitch!  "Toothsome" teen queen, Hilary Duff will be guest editing a fall issue of Seventeen Magazine.  I'm sure she'll devote pages and pages to her crap clothing line, chastity, Ice Breakers gum, Good Charlotte, and partying at MisShapes.  Awesomeness!  More here.

-And in Brazil, there are some real whores of fashion - for serious!  Daspu is a fashion line founded and run by a collective of approximately a dozen prostitutes.  The ladies came up with the idea "last year after Brazil's government turned down $40 million in U.S. anti-AIDS funding that was conditioned on the country condemning commercial sex work."  The Daspu group decided then that they'd have to "raise [their] own money in [their] way." 

Daspu is short for "das putas" or "of the whores" in Portuguese.  The line features colorful skirts, G-strings and more items you can wear during your early morning shifts over on 11th Ave.  Full story here.

VIKTOR & ROLF'S "ANTIDOTE" | UNFORTUNATELY DOES NOT CURE ASSHOLE-NESS

***A big thank you to all you fine fuckers who showed up to the first Whores Party last night with Peaches.  Hope you all had a fabulous time and keep coming back for more!!!

Wednesday and Thursday nights, Rufus Wainwright performed all 26 songs off Judy Garland’s 1961 live album recorded during her legendary Carnegie Hall performance.  Viktor & Rolf designed the diva’s three stage costumes. The duo became fans of Wainwright’s after they “went to see a concert of his in Amsterdam, and my God, he’s like Mozart,” Viktor Horsting said.

The performer’s get-ups included, a “pale blue suit with loose fitting pants with satin piping paired with a sequin-starred ruffled white shirt, and… a three-piece tuxedo, complete with top hat, accessorized with a flower dipped in liquid silver and worn with a raised waffle-print shirt.”  The third outfit consisted of a  “white shirt with beaded abstract stars and black pants.”  Horsting commented on the top, “The stars print shirt is like he’s reaching for the stars, in the same way we do.”  I think he actually may have said this with a straight face!

Keeping it in the family, Viktor and Rolf also dressed Wainwright’s mumsy, Kate McGarrigle, and sis, Martha Wainwright, who both performed duets with the singer.  “It was wonderful,” Rufus said of the clothes, “because it didn’t fall apart.”  Wow!  That’s a great endorsement. 

The after-party also served as the debut for Antidote, the new fragrance for men by Viktor & Rolf.  Rufus wrote an ode to Antidote which will be played in promos for the scent.  Regarding his collaboration with the design duo, Rufus said, “We enjoy each other’s work —and we’re all brilliant!”  Holy Shit!  Can these guys’ heads possibly be shoved any further up their asses?  Read more here and here.

MALCOLM MCLAREN | MESSED BY THE MET

In the past few weeks all in the fashion world have had their panties in a twist prepping for the big Anglomania opening gala tonight at the MET's Costume Institute. I'm sure it's all been very Ab Fab and "LIGHTS! MODELS! GUESTLIST!" insanity. Though among all the planning of what to wear and whom to invite, a very vital member of the english fashion empire was neglected - Malcolm McLaren. If you know even just a bit about the history of punk and contemporary english fashion, you'd realize that McLaren is one of the (if not the most) important players.

He was the one who came to New York when punk was just starting off in the 70's and brought with him back to London the styles and attitudes of the Ramones, Blondie, Richard Hell and all the other NYC punks. He was the brain behind the designs that he and Vivienne Westwood created for their shop Seditionaries (with previous incarnations called Let It Rock and Sex). He was the creative force behind their Witches, Buffalo Girls and Savages collections. Viv had been a schoolmarm prior to meeting Malcolm, and chances are, without his influence, she might still be.

So why then, was this pioneer of contemporary english fashion shut out from tonight's festivities? Though he is credited for his clothing at the exhibit (and incidentally, he is the most represented designer in the show, next to Vivienne) why did they think his presence and representation not necessary? Not being invited to the party won't destroy anyone, but honestly, give credit to where credit is due! None of the english designers represented in the show (and invited to the shindig) would be where they are today if not for McLaren's paving the way for them. In fact, the exhibit may not have even been worth having had McLaren not started the scene thirty years ago.

The excuse for the slight given by the party planners - "We didn't know he was going to be in town." As if that's a valid excuse. They'll have virtual nobodies like Sienna Miller and has-beens like Jennifer Hopez who have nothing to do with the exhibit attend the opening gala, but they won't have the man who started the whole movement. It's absolutely ridiculous.

BEE'S NEEDS

Anna Wintour's daughter, Bee Shaffer, writes a column for the London Telegraph.  Her latest entry details her woes in selecting an outfit for a gala event - the MET's Costume Institute Ball, in this case.  Oh, the horror! 

From selecting shoes, jewelry, hairstyle, and a date to having to go to multiple fittings for the dress, life can be so hard!  For this particular soiree, mini-Wintour will wear a dress designed by Karl Lagerfeld, in which the top of the garment will be molded to her body.  Poor Bee!  I'm sure her mom's rolodex is bursting with designers and stylists dying to dress and primp her and appease the evil matriarch, and the Conde Nast bitches/assistants have no choice but to help junior make some calls and set up appointments and even go to the gym for her, if she requests.  So quit your whining, Miss Bee!

In other Vogue E-I-C offspring news, Julia Restoin Roitfeld, daughter of uber-cool French Vogue lady-boss, Carine Roitfeld, is one of Paper Magazine's 50 Beautiful People.  Life sure is tough for Vogue spawn.

MISSHAPES V HEATHERETTE | Daytime Nightlife

In 1990, daytime television had Donahue, Geraldo, Joan Rivers, and a pre-world domination Oprah. These programs didn't have book clubs or any redeeming social value. They had lots of fucked up people doing fucked up things. In other words, it was the perfect forum for Michael Alig, James St James, Jennytalia, Richie Rich and the Club Kid scene.

Seeing as Richie Rich and his Heatherette bitches already did the daytime television scene back in 1990 (God, how old is Richie?), don't you think that the Misshapes crew should start appearing on today's daytime talk shows like Maury, Ricki Lake, Sally, or Jenny Jones?

I'm not talking about having Greg, Leigh, or Geo sit down on The View or Ellen, I'm talking a full on insane talk show experience. How fab would that be........

WATCH: The Club Kids on The Joan Rivers Show, circa 1990

Amanda Lepore | Bitch Is Old & Getting Older

Question: How many diva's does it take to throw Amanda Lepore a party?

Answer:Cocaine.

Devon Detrich here and letting you know that New York's most celebrated trannie whore is getting more gray pubes. On Tuesday night, the bitchy remnants of the 80s club scene are getting together to celebrate Amanda Lepore's (age withheld) birthday.

Susanne Bartsch, Kenny Kenny, Richie Rich, & David LaChapelle invite you to AMANDA LEPORE'S BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION with Dirty Martini + Cazwell + Many More Surprises | Happy Valley Tuesdays (14 East 27th Street) | Tuesday, December 6th | Doors 10:30PM