Whores

VIVIENNE WESTWOOD | A REAL PIECE OF ART

Dame Vivienne Westwood is going to be immortalised on film.  Vogue UK reports that Brian Grazer (one of the masterminds behind the brilliant Arrested Development - best show eva!) will produce the project.  This comes hot on the heels of two biopics about Coco Chanel currently in the works.  Which makes one wonder - which fashion film will be the best and who should play Viv?  Or Malcolm?  Or Joe Corre?  Or Johnny Rotten, Sid Vicious and Jordan?  And current "beau" Andreas?  Read here.  Regardless of casting, let's just hope the film is more interesting and coherent than Westwood's recent discussion on visual art at the Guardian Hay Festival in Wales.  According to Vogue UK, "Westwood projected her theories as a difficult-to-follow dialogue between characters including Pinocchio, the Mad Hatter and Aristotle, which saw her quickly lose her audience. One man stood up and, with an exaggerated stretch and sigh, left the tent - with many others following suit."  Let's hope this won't happen in movie theaters!  More here.

CONTROL | IAN CURTIS BIOPIC PREMIERES AT CANNES

The Anton Corbijn directed biopic about Ian Curtis and Joy Division debuted at the Cannes Film Festival which is currently going on in all its over-blown, tacky glory.  The film Control is based on the book Touching From a Distance, written by Curtis' widow Deborah, and stars Sam Riley (who had a bit part in the superb 24 Hour Party People) and Samantha Morton.  The film's official release date is September 26th.

The book is a quick, easy read, though it's difficult to accept it as an accurate account of Ian and Deborah's (and their daughter Natalie's) life since it's a one-sided story.  Members of Joy Division/New Order participated in the book (and the film), but it still seems as if Deborah fancies herself a victim of Ian's mental illness and "cruelty."  Sure, he had an affair with Annik Honore but we never got to hear his side of the story, and unfortunately, never will.  Pick up the book and make your own judgement and then check out the movie!  Read more here and here.

OSCARS | SNOOZEFEST

I'm still coming out of the coma the Oscars put me into last night. BORING! Anyway, here's a quick recap.

The big red-carpet queen of the evening (aside from Andre Leon Tally) was Reese "fuck you Ryan!" Witherspoon. Little Miss Freeway has grown up to be a fierce, Nina Ricci-rocking hot momma! She and Olivier Theyskens make for a good tag team. Also looking great was Cate Blanchett in silver metallic Armani Prive and Nicole Kidman in a scarlet, ginormo-bowed Balenciaga - but seriously, these two statuesque aussies rarely look bad on the red-carpet. Penelope Cruz also looked muy bonita in peach Versace.

Some middle-of-the-roaders for me included Jennifer Hudson, in Oscar de la Renta, who would have looked fine if she lost that ridiculous, ill-fitting, metallic shrug; Jessica Biel also in Oscar - I loved the different, raspberry color, but am not sold that it was the best cut for a girl with such serious guns; Kate Winslet in an underwhelming, mint green Valentino; and Kirsten Dunst in a sparkly, feathery Chanel Couture. I know little snaggle-tooth is getting some serious shit for wearing this number, but for some reason, I can't decide whether I like it or not...

The big duds of the night included Beyonce, in a pale green Armani Prive (at least she wasn't wearing one of mom's rags!); J-Lo in tacky, grecian Marchesa; Anne Hathaway in Valentino and a bow that should have been wrapped tightly, noose-like, around her neck; and an orange Cameron Diaz in a Valentino bedsheet. The absolute, biggest bomb of the evening however was Naomi Watts in a frumpy, frumpy, unflattering yellow Escada. It was pathetic seeing her stand next to Nicole Kidman, gazing at her Single White Female-lovingly, while Lisa Ling (in a horrible Joyce Leslie-looking piece of crap) interviewed them. And don't tell me it's because she's got Liev Shrieber's bun baking in her lady-oven. If your bff with Nicole Kidman, and know you are going to be walking down the red-carpet with her, you better make a fucking effort!

And as a footnote, I am sooo grateful that Milena Canonero deservingly nabbed the award for Best Costumes for Marie Antoinette and beat out nutso, tacky crack-head, Patricia Field! See pics at Style.com.

FACTORY GIRL PUBLICITY | SIENNA IS PANTLESS. REPEAT PANTLESS!

Oy!  Is there anything or anyone Sienna Miller won't do for a little publicity?  Seriously! First there were the rumors that she and proud, new papa, Diddy are "just friends" who happen to party together until 9am!  Then come the rumors that the sex scene between her and former boy-toy, revenge fuck, Hayden Christensen, on the set of Factory Girl is "unsimulated".  Then the bitch goes to the movie premiere's after-party wearing a cropped black sweater over black, control-top pantyhose (right)!  WTF?!?!

They interviewed her on the red carpet during the Factory Girl premiere last night on Access Hollywood.  Miller proudly stated that she doesn't use a stylist.  She does it ALL HERSELF.  Yeah, that's impressive!  She said there was a huge pile of clothes on her bed from which she chose her outfit for the evening.  Surely there must have been at least one pair of Pepe jeans in that pile!  Hello?!

Clicke here and here for pics from the premiere (for the record, Mena Suvari looks like shite as well) and here for pics from the afterparty.

LE MONDE DE SOFIA

-Sofia Coppola's much anticipated Marie Antoinette opens today.  Check out the UK Times article about Coppola and her team who amazingly recreated the French macaroon-colored pomp and privilege of Versailles.  Along with great on-set pictures, the article offers commentary from the film's Music Supervisor Brian Reitzell (formerly of Redd Kross), Set Designer K.K. Barrett, Cinematographer Lance Acord, and Oscar-winning Costume Designer Milena Canonero.  Read article here.  If you get a chance, you should pick up Antonia Frasier's in-depth and slightly textbookish bio on the queen which inspired Coppola.  See here.

-The next time you are in Paris Paris, you can shop like Sofia or just stalk her.  Read Lynn Hirschberg's piece from the September 24th issue of T Magazine which includes a list of some of Sofia's favorite haunts in the city of light.  Read article here.

CANNES UPDATE | SOFIA CAN'T PLEASE THE FRENCH

-The much anticipated Marie Antoinette received a chilly reception at its premiere Wednesday night at Cannes.  Sofia Coppola’s adaptation of Antonia Frasier’s highly praised bio of the Austrian archduchess who married Louis XVI at the sweet and tender age of 14, and became the queen of France at 18 is wicked stylish and boasts a cool cast (Steve Coogan, Marianne Faithfull, Asia Argento, Rip Torn), and music by New Order, Bow Wow Wow and Phoenix.  Coppola humanized the doomed queen, played by Kirsten Dunst, and modernized her story by having her combat her loneliness, a result of her neglectful, flaccid husband (Jason Schwartzman) with shopping and partying like all respectable party girls have done throughout the ages.  Coppola was even granted permission to film in Versailles where the action actually took place.

After its screening, the film “received loud boos and catcalls” and “only a smattering of polite applause.”  Too bad.  I still plan on seeing it though because the trailer looks fierce and the music sounds awesome and Sofia is cool.  I’ll still even see it despite the fact that Kirsten looked kind of creepy in her Rochas dress (above) at the premiere.  Read more here.

-Anna Wintour might actually have a sense of humor! The she-devil accepted an invite from Meryl Streep to attend the premiere of the presumably shitty, The Devil Wears Prada, and she actually wore Prada.  That’s probably as funny as the bitch can get.  See story here.  Also, WWD criticizes Patricia Fields' styling of the movie.

-Check out Vogue UK for more pics from Cannes.  Cate Blanchett looks particularly fab mainly because she has the balls to wear riskier designs – these are by McQueen, of course.

DEMI TO PLAY COCO? | NO NO CHANEL!

First rumors were abuzz that La Lohan will play Janis Joplin in a biopic (hopefully these rumors are a bust like the ones suggesting that she would be modeling for Chanel, Louis Vuitton and Versace).  Then further rumors arose that Colin Farrell will play Bob Dylan in another film (the vertically-challenged dirtbag was just dropped from the project, thankfully.)  Now Vogue UK reports that Demi Moore has been approached to play Gabrielle Bonheur “Coco” Chanel in a film about the style maven’s life.

Demi Moore?  Is the stock of actresses of a certain age in Hollywood that scant that filmmakers have to resort to GI Jane to play Coco Chanel?  WTF?!?!  What would make anyone even think of considering Miss St. Elmo’s Fire for the role of a sophisticated, stylish, visionary icon?  Did her portrayal of a stripper with a heart of gold and tits of silicone in Striptease bowl over the six people who actually saw it that much that they think she has the chops to play a substantial character?  Or was it her “convincing” turn as Hester Prynne in The Scarlet Letter?

Acting talent aside, the former Mrs. Willis doesn’t even resemble Coco.  Chanel was elegant and aged gracefully while Mrs. Kutcher is skanky and completely pulled, stretched and botoxed up.  I hope this rumor tanks, much like Moore’s career in the 90’s.

DO IT CLEAN

The March issue of Paper had an article on one of my favorite actresses, Maggie Cheung.  Papermag.com posts this article, along with an interview with Cheung that wasn’t printed in the magazine.

Cheung discusses the upcoming release of her film, Clean, for which she won Best Actress at Cannes in 2004.  Her ex-husband, director Olivier Assayas, wrote Cheung’s part in the film specifically for her.  In it, Cheung plays Emily, a junkie whose rock star boyfriend dies of an overdose.  Emily tries to clean herself up and get her life together so she can regain custody of the son she had with her dead lover.   Doesn’t exactly sound like the feel-good-movie of the year, but it features a terrific performance by Cheung.  And honestly, is it any more depressing than seeing Sharon Stone flash her dusty, old twat in Basic Instinct II?

Clean will have a limited release in April.

FILM STAR KARL

Karl Lagerfeld’s skinny ass seems to be everywhere these days, and he’ll be invading art-house theaters next.  Vogue UK reports that Lagerfeld plays himself in a scene from the new Francis Veber film, La Doublure.  His cameo was shot last July during his couture show. The film stars Alice Taglioni, Kristin Scott Thomas, and Virginie Ledoyen and involves Taglioni’s supermodel character getting mixed up in a paparazzi scandal with a married millionaire.  Wacky French shenanigans ensue, naturally.  The flick premiered in Paris on Monday with Scott Thomas in a YSL Le Smoking suit and Ledoyen in Chanel.  Vanessa Seward, the kick-ass Azzaro designer was on-hand at the screening conveniently reporting that she has designed costumes for another upcoming film, Hors de Priz.