Whores

BODY IMAGE | ALL SHAPES AND SIZES

-Look, I'm glad that The Gossip's Beth Ditto (right) is proud of her full-figured physique and undoubtedly has more confidence in her pinky finger than I have as a whole, but I seriously did not need to see her in the buff.  Ever!  Make like Tobias Funke, Beth, and practice being a never-nude.

-In other Beth Ditto news, the singer says that new bff, Kate Moss, is "amazing..."  especially with barbeque sauce!  See NME.

-Are vegetarians sexy?  Peta 2 has nominated Fall Out Boy's Pete Wentz (though he seems like a complete meathead tool), Muse's Matt Bellamy, YYY's Nick Zinner, The Rakes' Alan Donohue, Kaiser Chiefs' Andrew White and We Are Scientists' Keith Murray for sexiest male veggie.  Up for the ladies are Adele Bethel of Sons & Daughters, Le Tigre's Johanna Fateman, and Alison Goldfrapp.  Nick and Adele totally get my vote.  Read more here.

-YSL's Stefano Pilati got The Washington Post's Robin Givhan's knickers into a twist by suggesting in an interview that there is a shortage of beautiful, thin, black models.  He said, "Sometimes, it's not your choice. You can't find [black models] that are beautiful and with the right proportions. I prefer them with lean proportions with no big hips."  Giving Stefano the benefit of the doubt, I don't think he meant to sound racist or offensive.  I think he made the mistake of making a broad generalization of women of color.  His point does make sense if you think about it in fashion/model terms.  Look at Iman and Naomi.  And look at Liya Kebede, Veronica Webb and Alek Wek.  They're all beautiful and sexy, but not one of them has pesky hips interfering with the lines of the clothes. Clothing just shows better on small-framed girls, regardless of ethnicity.  Read full article here.

BANGS BANGS ROCK 'N ROLL!

Several years back, I'd broken up with a jerk-ass boyfriend and decided to do what many women tend to do post breakup - get a drastic haircut (what's up with that?!).  I'd been toying with the idea of cutting bangs, or fringe, for quite some time, but didn't because the aforementioned jerk-ass boyfriend didn't like them.  So after dumping his no-good arse, I decided to go for it.  My fab hairstylist and bff, James, was elated when I told him of my decision as he'd been trying to persuade me to get banged for years.  So I did it.  I loved it.  And I haven't turned back since!

My two main fringe inspirations were Nico (see here and here) and Marianne Faithfull (see here and here).  They both rocked boho/rock chick bangs back in the sixties exuding absolute coolness while looking so, so fierce!  A friend of mine commented that my two hair heroines were in fact, dragon-chasing heroine fiends, so maybe I had fallen victim to heroine chic, which was all the rage at the time.  Other favorite hot, banged-up ladies include Francoise Hardy (pictured), Betty Catroux, Jane Birkin (see here and here), Anna Karina (see here and here).  Which other banged babes am I forgetting?

EVERYBODY'S GOT BODY ISSUES!

-Grandma Kim Cattral bitches and moans about the demise of the voluptuous woman.  The ol' battle axe laments, "If you saw a woman [Marilyn Monroe] like that now they'd say: 'Oh my God, she's so fat!'  That's a shame."  True, true, Kim.  And if we saw a woman like you now we'd probably say:  "Holy shit!  Put some clothes on that ancient, sagging, wrinkled corpse!"  See more here.

-Scarlett Hohansson, otherwise known these days as Woody Allen's favorite squeeze toy, insists that many of her peers are "too thin for my taste."  Yeah, that's what the fat girl always says.  Read story here.

-Rocket scientist, Paris Hilton claims, "A lot of women are too thin.  I think the ones who are getting really skinny look gross."  Hmmm, wonder who the fat-ass is referring to.  As if Paris is the poster girl for Jenny Craig!  You know she's just trying to get a cheap dig in at Nicole Richie, and having the IQ of Tinkerbelle, she couldn't come up with anything better.  Go deep throat another Carl's Junior burger you stupid twat! 

-Mischa Barton can't understand why she isn't more popular in the UK.  Maybe because you suck and have no talent!  Read article here, if you must.

-And last in this sea of vapidity, Victoria Beckham is penning a book called, That Extra Half an Inch, which she claims is "the definitive girls' guide to looking and feeling the best that you can." In it, she delivers such words of wisdom as:  don't wear skinny jeans with flats or you'll end up looking like a golf club; don't wear frilly bras or you'll look like you have four breasts. (Cereal bowl breasts like yours, Posh?); and some wedges can make your feet look encased in cement.  Pure genius!  What would we poor girls ever do without the brilliant Mrs. Becks?  Read more about Posh and her book here.  My head hurts now... I'm going to lay down for the rest of the weekend.

CLIVE, MONICA, DIANE AND WANNABE | FACES FOR FALL ADS

A few older, but still totally hot, actors have been chosen for upcoming beauty adverts, along with a virtual nobody (outside of NY), social-climber.

First off, the always gorgeous Italian actress, Monica Belluci, has been named the new model for Christian Dior’s Rouge Lipstick.  At 42, Belluci is still way hotter than many of the starlet twats half her age.

Loreal has chosen Diane Keaton as their face for ads promoting their Age Perfect line.  The 60-year-old Keaton, who famously dated Woody Allen and Warren Beatty, still looks great for her age.  Hopefully she’ll be contractually obligated to ditch the gloves she’s been so fond of lately.

Lancome is shelling out a reported $4 million for its new male model.  Since it’s suave, English hottie, Clive Owen (of Sin City, Derailed, Closer, Croupier, Bent and those annoying BMW ad/mini movies a few years back), I’d say it’s money definitely well spent!  Call me a sucka, but I’d buy anything his dream pools of blue (eyes for us mortals) tell me to buy.

Last and most definitely least, former New York Observer writer and current girl-about-town, Jessica Joffe, has been cast alongside four actual models for Banana Republic’s new fragrance line, Discover, due out this fall.  Sucking up to the cream of NYC’s C-listers has paid off for the Nicole Kidman wannabe, provided it’s been a dream of hers to model for a boring chain store’s bottle of stank.