Whores

VIVIENNE WESTWOOD | A REAL PIECE OF ART

Dame Vivienne Westwood is going to be immortalised on film.  Vogue UK reports that Brian Grazer (one of the masterminds behind the brilliant Arrested Development - best show eva!) will produce the project.  This comes hot on the heels of two biopics about Coco Chanel currently in the works.  Which makes one wonder - which fashion film will be the best and who should play Viv?  Or Malcolm?  Or Joe Corre?  Or Johnny Rotten, Sid Vicious and Jordan?  And current "beau" Andreas?  Read here.  Regardless of casting, let's just hope the film is more interesting and coherent than Westwood's recent discussion on visual art at the Guardian Hay Festival in Wales.  According to Vogue UK, "Westwood projected her theories as a difficult-to-follow dialogue between characters including Pinocchio, the Mad Hatter and Aristotle, which saw her quickly lose her audience. One man stood up and, with an exaggerated stretch and sigh, left the tent - with many others following suit."  Let's hope this won't happen in movie theaters!  More here.

BODY IMAGE | ALL SHAPES AND SIZES

-Look, I'm glad that The Gossip's Beth Ditto (right) is proud of her full-figured physique and undoubtedly has more confidence in her pinky finger than I have as a whole, but I seriously did not need to see her in the buff.  Ever!  Make like Tobias Funke, Beth, and practice being a never-nude.

-In other Beth Ditto news, the singer says that new bff, Kate Moss, is "amazing..."  especially with barbeque sauce!  See NME.

-Are vegetarians sexy?  Peta 2 has nominated Fall Out Boy's Pete Wentz (though he seems like a complete meathead tool), Muse's Matt Bellamy, YYY's Nick Zinner, The Rakes' Alan Donohue, Kaiser Chiefs' Andrew White and We Are Scientists' Keith Murray for sexiest male veggie.  Up for the ladies are Adele Bethel of Sons & Daughters, Le Tigre's Johanna Fateman, and Alison Goldfrapp.  Nick and Adele totally get my vote.  Read more here.

-YSL's Stefano Pilati got The Washington Post's Robin Givhan's knickers into a twist by suggesting in an interview that there is a shortage of beautiful, thin, black models.  He said, "Sometimes, it's not your choice. You can't find [black models] that are beautiful and with the right proportions. I prefer them with lean proportions with no big hips."  Giving Stefano the benefit of the doubt, I don't think he meant to sound racist or offensive.  I think he made the mistake of making a broad generalization of women of color.  His point does make sense if you think about it in fashion/model terms.  Look at Iman and Naomi.  And look at Liya Kebede, Veronica Webb and Alek Wek.  They're all beautiful and sexy, but not one of them has pesky hips interfering with the lines of the clothes. Clothing just shows better on small-framed girls, regardless of ethnicity.  Read full article here.

CRIMES OF FASHION

-Chan Marshall (right), the whiney, prone to breakdowns performer a.k.a. Cat Power, needs to find herself some style power stat!  See more here (scroll down).

-Emo-geisha!  Apparently that's the look Billy Corgan was looking to disappoint his fans with at the Pumpkins' "reunion" performance at the Pinkpop Festival in the Netherlands.  He's a little bit Madonna (circa Nothing Really Matters vid), a little bit Gerry Way and every bit LAME!  See here.

-Amy Winehouse.  Nuff said.  I certainly hope airport security searched that hornets nest of hers.  Click here.

-No, no, oh hellz to the NO!  Fuck you and your sorry ass, laundry-day outfit, Jake Gyllenhaal's sista!  See the catastrophe here.

NYT THURSDAY STYLES | THE CRITICAL SHOPPER HAS ISH!

Oh, poor Mike Albo, the author of today's Times' Critical Shopper piece.  Albo is obviously using his review of the Williamsburg, Moss-like, home design shop The Future Perfect, to work out some relationship issues. 

He starts with stating that the cool but pricey store makes his "heart hurt" not only because of the high price points, but because he "once dated a guy with this [store's] aesthetic."  He later hints at the ex's persona by describing a typical shopper at The Future Perfect as being "a magnetic guy who listens to Blonde Redhead, has a really good art-director job and a neck tattoo and doesn't call you back."

When describing the store's proprietor, David Alhadeff, Albo says, "Unlike some people I know, Mr. Alhadeff is very devoted..."  Later he writes that someone with deep pockets who can actually afford to furnish his home with the store's inventory "can have a beautiful innovative space in which to lounge and ignore the 50 e-mail messages they received from someone they were pseudo-dating."  Geez!  Bitter much, Mike? 

Buck up, Albo boy!  You're not alone.  I know exactly how you feel.  It totally sucks being the jilted lover, but the Critical Shopper space isn't the right platform for you to air your grievances.  That's what blogs are for, guy!  Bitch about it all you want on your blog and then put a flaming bag of poop outside  the "boyfriend's" door and let him ruin his immaculate, Art Director's Converse by Junya Watanabe trainers!  The inconsiderate bastard!  Do it and then go home and cry yourself to sleep whilst listening to Blonde Redhead's Misery is a Butterfly on repeat.  You'll feel so much better in the morning.  Seriously...  Read article here.

BANGS BANGS ROCK 'N ROLL!

Several years back, I'd broken up with a jerk-ass boyfriend and decided to do what many women tend to do post breakup - get a drastic haircut (what's up with that?!).  I'd been toying with the idea of cutting bangs, or fringe, for quite some time, but didn't because the aforementioned jerk-ass boyfriend didn't like them.  So after dumping his no-good arse, I decided to go for it.  My fab hairstylist and bff, James, was elated when I told him of my decision as he'd been trying to persuade me to get banged for years.  So I did it.  I loved it.  And I haven't turned back since!

My two main fringe inspirations were Nico (see here and here) and Marianne Faithfull (see here and here).  They both rocked boho/rock chick bangs back in the sixties exuding absolute coolness while looking so, so fierce!  A friend of mine commented that my two hair heroines were in fact, dragon-chasing heroine fiends, so maybe I had fallen victim to heroine chic, which was all the rage at the time.  Other favorite hot, banged-up ladies include Francoise Hardy (pictured), Betty Catroux, Jane Birkin (see here and here), Anna Karina (see here and here).  Which other banged babes am I forgetting?

PATRICK ROBINSON | FALLS INTO THE GAP

-Cutie designer (despite his Sideshow Bob-ish hair), Patrick Robinson has just been appointed Executive Vice President of Design for the Gap in North America.  Congrats, Patrick!  And congrats to the Gap!  Perhaps now the struggling chain can get its groove back.  Robinson was previously Artistic Director for Paco Rabanne and more recently designed a not-so-hyped Go International collection for Target.  Read more here and here.

-Have I mentioned that Amy Winehouse is a hideous boozebag?  What's she got hidden in her bouffant - a bomb or a liter of Colt 45?  See here.

-But at least Ms. Winehouse isn't Britney... Brit-Brit failed to impress the crowd with her TJ Maxx outfits and cheap weave during her "come back" show in Malibu last weekend.  Even Madonna's brother Christopher Ciccone thought her performance was shite - and he would know about shitty music and performances, being Madge's bro and all!  Click here to see the disaster.

MISCHA BARTON | CLOTHES COW

-Sorry, I don't consider Mischa Barton a fashion icon.  I really don't.  Even if the self-professed "clotheshorse" insists that she's not "a sweat-pants and Uggs kinda girl," (I'm assuming she decided this after leaking a little menstrual blood on her white sweat-pants) her get-ups, especially in candid shots (see right), leave me baffled.  Seriously, wtf?!  So I'm completely confused as to why the UK Times decided to do a piece on Marissa's "Life in Fashion."  I just assumed it was non-existent.  Stick to the Keds and Bebe, snatchbag, and keep your inane musings to yourself!

-The Fashion Informer has a Q&A with Target's current Go International designer, Patrick Robinson.  See here.  Robinson comes across as a nice, normal guy and not idiotic.  Take note, Mischa!

-And Radar Online has a crib sheet to the ladettes of British pop... and Amy Winehouse, who is actually more of a lad.  Woof! 

IRINA ROCKS | MULTI-TASKING MANNEQUIN

Yeah, I'm still mad girl-crushing on Irina Lazareanu.  And now there's more reason to love her.  Not only is she one of the coolest models currently out there (don't worry - I still love Agyness too!) and recording her first album post-Babyshambles, she's also taken on the role of stylist and fashion photographer.  The uber-stylish Laz styled and shot a shoot for V where she enlisted the help of professional poseurs, Daria Werbowy, Gemma Ward and Lily Cole.  Of the experience, Irina said, "It was freaky.  I had to make sure the girls got ready, got dressed.  And I'm just a friend.  It really was a challenge.  It took 10 years off of my life."  Uh... okay.  Well, as tricky as it may be to get grown women dressed, Lazareanu was not deterred and is styling another shoot for Vogue.  If she dresses these shoots half as well as she gussies herself up for a night on the town, then I'm sure the results will be styling!  Read more here.

CONTROL | IAN CURTIS BIOPIC PREMIERES AT CANNES

The Anton Corbijn directed biopic about Ian Curtis and Joy Division debuted at the Cannes Film Festival which is currently going on in all its over-blown, tacky glory.  The film Control is based on the book Touching From a Distance, written by Curtis' widow Deborah, and stars Sam Riley (who had a bit part in the superb 24 Hour Party People) and Samantha Morton.  The film's official release date is September 26th.

The book is a quick, easy read, though it's difficult to accept it as an accurate account of Ian and Deborah's (and their daughter Natalie's) life since it's a one-sided story.  Members of Joy Division/New Order participated in the book (and the film), but it still seems as if Deborah fancies herself a victim of Ian's mental illness and "cruelty."  Sure, he had an affair with Annik Honore but we never got to hear his side of the story, and unfortunately, never will.  Pick up the book and make your own judgement and then check out the movie!  Read more here and here.

QUICKIE | SOPHIA KOKOSALAKI LEAVES VIONNET

According to Hintmag's Daily Hint, Sophia Kokosalaki is leaving the revamped house of Vionnet after only two seasons.  To the right is a look from her Fall 2007 collection for the house.  She will go back to focusing on her own line.  Vionnet has replaced Kokosalaki with Marc Audibet, previously of Prada, Hermes, Trussardi and Ferragamo.  His first collection for Vionnet will be for Spring/Summer 2008.  Hintmag