Whores

HOT OR NOT? | HOTTEST LADS AND LADIES OF 2006

-Socialite's Life compiled their picks for the hottest guys and gals of 2006.  Among the dudes, Jude Law (puh-leez, that nanny-fucker is sooo five years ago!); Nick Lachey (that himbo?); John Legend; Adrian Grenier; Eric Dane (who dat?); Hugh Jackman (coughgaycough); George Clooney (yawn!); Leo DiCaprio (huh?); Johnny Depp (yum!); and number 1 is Matthew McConnaughey whose mugshot is pictured at the right.  Sorry, but I just don't see it.  Even if he were greased up playing the bongos naked, I still wouldn't be impressed.  I am glad, however, that Angelina-wannabe, Brad; thinks-he's-God, Kanye; and Dr. McNasty, Patrick Dempsey, didn't make the cut!  See list here.

-The "Top Ten Most Fit Females in 2006" include, Heidi Klum (No argument there.  She's popped out three kids and still looks better than most of us in her cheap Victoria's Secret skivvies!); Madge (just don't look at her 80-year-old hands!); Gisele (so long as she doesn't speak); Maria Sharapova; Jessica Alba; Jennifer Aniston (gag!  freakin' whiny-assed scarecrow!); Eva Longoria (tacky-ass, annoying midget!); Cameron Diaz (nevermind the Noriega-like pock marks); Denise Richards (HOOKER!); and number 1 is the queen of stupid blondes - Jessica Simpson!  Where are all the 'rexi gals?  I thought skeletal = hot for 2006?  Click here for the list.

ANOTHER YEAR END LIST | FASHION'S MOVERS & SHAKERS

-Theyskens going from Rochas to Ricci. Irina's effortless cool.  Viktor & Rolf's budget bridal wear. Up-and-coming Brit designers Christopher Kane and Gareth Pugh.  Marie Antoinette and Edie revisited.  Thom Browne doing mainstream. Doo-Ri Chung's double win. Cheap Monday's affordable denim. Hussein Chalayan's animatronic dresses (right). And a slimmed-down Marc.  These and more have made it on to Style.com's list of the 28 top fashion influencers of 2006.  See full list here.  How did eating disorders and the ubiquitous snatch flash not make the list?!?! 

With my being brain-dead, being between holidays and all the celebs laying low in St. Barths, Aspen, and Ibizia, there's not a lot of dish to report these days...

DEBBIE AND KAREN | LADIES WHO ROCK!

-Dazed & Confused's recently launched (and impressive) website features a Q&A with legendary rock photog Mick Rock, with five outtakes from a photo shoot he did with Debbie Harry and Karen O.  The two lady rockers got on famously according to Rock, who is friends with both and says they "can both get down with the boys, they're both very beautiful and they both like a bit of a chuckle."  Shooting the pair was understandably Rock's dream job.  The discussion between Debbie and Karen can be found in Dazed & Confused's December issue, while the Q&A with the lensman can be read here.

BEST OF, MOST OF, SATIATE THE NEED | BEYONCE BEST DRESSED OF 2006?!

-What blind, fucking retards over at Life & Style nominated Beyonce as Best Dressed of 2006?  For serious - WHAAA?!?!  Look, the girl is cute and can sing and shake her derriere, but the sista has no sense of style!  Need proof?  Have a look at her nasty-ass House of Dereon collection.  The rest of the top ten list is just as disturbing.  Mischa?  ScarHo?  Fat ass?  WTF???  Click here for the full list.

-Oh the irony!  People.com lists Ms. Bootylicious as one of their top 5 What Were They Thinking victims.  Personally, I don't even think this is her worst offence.  Click here to see the full top 5.  The folks at People also trash Ms. B's outfit choice for her appearance on TRL yesterday.  See here.  Listen peeps!  B's having a hard time lately, okay?  What with Jay-Z still not marrying her and being upstaged in Dreamgirls by Hefty Hide-Away gal, Jennifer Hudson.  Shite...

FASHION NEWS | CLOAK CLOSES, FASHION WEEK MOVES?

-Cloak's Alexandre Plokhov announced Friday that he will be shutting down operations due to "partnership issues."  The six-year-old, cool menswear line will finalize production and deliveries for the Spring 2007 collection and then call it a day.  At the moment, Plokhov has not announced his plans for the future.  Hopefully he won't be gone for long!  Read more here and here.

-The schedule for next fall's New York Fashion Week coincides with Rosh Hashanah. CFDA members recently received a memo regarding rescheduling the shows to possibly two days forward or waiting until October!  Hmmm, didn't the New York shows used to fall later in the schedule anyway - after the European shows?  There's just no pleasing New Yorkers!  Read more here.

-After Madonna got a good tongue lashing from PETA for wearing a vintage $70,000 coat made of dead chinchillas, Stella McCartney decided to attack her bff as well.  When Madge tried to change the subject, McCartney said, "What would you do if someone took away your children and killed them to wear their skin?"  Ha!  Was McCunty referencing Esther's baby-napping???  Read more here.

-Another animal killer/fur wearer, Jade Jagger, received a videotape from PETA vice president, Dan Matthews, at the World Music Awards.  Matthews wrote a note to Jagger aftwards saying, "You seem like such a decent person, and I thought if you took just a few minutes to investigate the story behind fur perhaps you'd see it as more than just a fabric. It's always good to make informed choices."  How civil!  But I prefer it when protesters throw pies and buckets of red paint on the fur wearing twats!  How about tar and feathering them next?  Read more here.

MY IMAGE! | CELEBS STEAL LOOKS

-First Ashley Olsen dyed her flaxen locks an ashy, ca-ca brown, now sis Mary Kate has gone platinum (right)!  Methinks MK may be pulling a Sienna Miller in thinking that she is Edie Sedwig incarnate. First she prances about in black tights with no pants, now she seems to be going for her hair.  Sadly, neither MK nor Sienna will ever be as charismatic, cute or cutting-edge as Edie. I guess I should give lil Michelle Tanner some props though - she does have the chain smoking, eating disorder and amphetamine habit down pat - just like Edie!  See here.

-Selma Blair once again tries too hard...  This time she thinks she's a MisShape! See here.

-Yo no quiero Taco Bell!  And it ain't because of the E Coli.  It's because of this nauseating shot of Courtney Love's lady-taco.  Though she's old enough to be their mom, Courtney pulls a Paris, Britney and Lindsay and does a twat-flash.  See here if you dare.

MARC JACOBS | DROPS BOYTOY, THROWS BASH

-By the sounds of it, Marc Jacobs and Jason Preston are officially over.  Though Preston denied rumors of a split a month ago, when asked last night how the former rentboy was, Jacobs responded, "I couldn't tell you.  I haven't seen him.  I haven't spoken to him.  I don't know what he's doing.  And if he told me, I'm not sure I would believe him, because he's not a very honest person."  Meee-ow!  So tell us how you really feel, Marc. 

It's also reported that Preston was seen recently macking out with gossip-monger Perez Hilton.  Um... ew!  I guess the ex-hustler and gossip sleazebag are a match made in heaven.  Read more here (scroll down).

-Fortunately, the split did not deter Jacobs from throwing yet another smashing soiree.  His "Carnival in Venice"-themed holiday party took place at Gotham Hall last night and brought out a flock of fashion freaks.  Jacobs dressed up as a pigeon because, "It's just what came to my mind first when I thought of Venice... There are so many pigeons there," the designer said.  His partner, Robert Duffy, dressed up as Michelangelo, in an outfit created by a Metropolitan Opera costume designer!  The party was resplendent with revelers in all sorts of glittering, outrageous get-ups, cannons that shot gold confetti and white feathers, fountains of champagne, and lots of naked dancers... because it just isn't a fashion party without naked dancers.  Click here for story and pics.

PRONTO, MIUCCIA PRADA IS ON THE LINE

-Following in the heels of and undoubtedly out-fabulizing Dolce & Gabbana's and Diane von Furstenberg's custom designed mobile phones, Prada is working with LG Electronics to "produce the most advanced, and most fashionable, mobile phone on the market."  Prada's president, Patrizio Bertelli, declared, "As we do with ready-to-wear and accessories, we were looking at a breakthrough.  Consistent with our approach, we are not branding an existing product."   He adds that the phone will have a "very strong character and unique style."  Duh!  As if Miu Miu would have it any other way!  The phone will be available early next year in Europe, followed by Asia and the US later in 2007.  Get your ass on the waiting list now!  Read more here.

BABIES | THE MUST-HAVE ACCESSORY

-Stefano Gabbana gots babies on his mind.  Currently in a new relationship, after splitting with longtime lover/business partner, Domenico Dolce, in 2005, Gabbana told Italian newspaper, La Repubblica that he'd like a baby, but... "not an adopted baby, I don't feel up to it, I'm not strong enough.  I would like a child of my own, a biological child, fruit of my seed."  He's asked a female friend to be his baby-momma because "I am opposed to a child growing up with two gay parents.  A child needs a father and a mother.  I can't imagine my childhood without my mother.  And I think that it's cruel to take a baby from its mother."  Wha?!?!  A gay man being thisclose to his mother?  Imagine that! Read more here (scroll down).  I sure hope Rosie O'Donnell doesn't hear about this.  The racist, bitchy, potato-shaped, loud-mouthed, lesbo-mom would probably berate him and his opinions on that crap-show of hers using an insulting, derogatory guido accent. 

-Speaking of babies, Stella McCartney and Alasdhair Willis welcomed their second child last Friday.  Daughter, Bailey Linda Olwyn Willis, weighed in at 7lbs 14oz.  Wonder if cwazee peg-leg, Heather Mills, will send a baby gift?  Read here.

-And though Bailey is just a newborn, wee tot, she's probably already smarter than Naomi Campbell, who is this year's recipient of London's "Foot In Mouth" award.  The prize is awarded each year to a "high profile person responsible for the best example of 'mixed metaphor, mangled syntax or plain stupidity.'"  Campbell's bon mot, "I love England, especially the food.  There's nothing I like more than a lovely bowl of pasta."  Insert bad joke with insulting, derogatory guido accent here...  Vogue UK

GOSSIP | CHANEL SHOWS PRE-FALL, TROVATA SPLITS, JARVIS RETURNS

-Karl Lagerfeld presented Chanel's pre-fall collection at Diaghilev's Ballets Russes, a nineteenth century opera house in oh-so-chic Monaco.  Princess Caroline, her daughter Charlotte Casiraghi, along with French actresses Anna Mouglalis and Elodie Bouchez were in attendance.  Some pretty, frothy pieces were shown, but what the hell is "pre-fall"?  What new "season" will the fashion world invent next?  See photos from the show at Style.com.

-Sad news - after the departure of founding member, Josia Lamberto-Egan in June, label Trovata is losing two more founders, leaving the former collective with a single, remaining founder.  On January 1st, Jeff Halmos and Sam Shipley will relinquish their duties at the company, handing over their roles to current employees.  John Whitledge will stay on as the label's president and creative director.  Despite being Vogue darlings, and winning the Perry Ellis Award for emerging menswear design and the CFDA/Vogue Fashion Fund in 2006, Halmos and Shipley stated that their departure is "simply a matter of creative differences."  The pair plan to start their own company and debut a collection in Spring 2008.  Read more here.

-Last Thursday's NYT had a piece on Jarvis Cocker (above) and reviews his debut solo album.  See here.  This disturbing tid-bit turns up at the end of the article written by Kelefa Sanneh:

These days Sheffield’s biggest rock star is Alex Turner, the 20-year-old lead singer of the Arctic Monkeys. (He writes witty lyrics too, though that’s about where the similarity ends.) About a year ago, when a visiting reporter asked about Mr. Cocker’s influence, Mr. Turner admitted he had been too young for Pulp. “When ‘Different Class’ came out, how old were we?” He declined to do the calculation, but he was 9. Without a hint of malice or derision, he added, “You’re more into climbing trees an’ that.”

Holy shize!  Thanks for making me feel ancient, Kelefa!  I'm practically old enough to be that spotty, weasly Artic Monkey's mum!