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FLORIDA KOLLEGES | Go home, young man

Do you go to school in Florida?  Are you writing your senior thesis on Post-Batista Cuba?  Or want to volunteer in the Sudan?  Want to, um, try to infiltrate North Korea?

Well, think again...

KOLLEGE DAILY | Go east and west, ugly Americans

The US Senate has decided that since most college grads speak no languages other than English (and speak that pretty poorly), can't locate Portugal on a map, couldn't tell you who the Prime Minister of France is, get Taiwan and Thailand confused, believe New Zealand to be a land mass created by Peter Jackson for the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy, Holland = clogs, gouda, hash and hookers (wait, that could be true) and know somehow, perhaps through porn, that Czech girls are slutty. 

This is why last November, in an unusual display of international hugging, the Senate declared 2006 the "Year of Study Abroad." 

Sez UC Davis' California Aggie: Uncle Sam wants America's youth to get out of the country. Last November, the U.S. Senate passed a resolution declaring 2006 as the "Year of Study Abroad." The resolution states that the U.S. educational system is responsible for ensuring that "citizens of the United States are globally literate."

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KOLLEGE DAILY | Cool shit of the week!

The coolest skateboard ever.  Period. 

Amazing comic artist Anders Nilsen, author of the weird and gorgeous Big Questions, has given the world Bird with Radio, a historic, four-color silk-screened skateboard deck.

I can't skateboard for shit, but I might buy this and stick it on my wall.

SPRING BREAK | Abduction is hot

Sigh.  I guess it wouldn't be Spring Break 2006 without a Natalie Holloway satire.

From today's Ridiculopathy: Eager to experience "local flavor" wherever they go, these brave souls seek out less sanitary bar-tops on which to shake their artfully-tattooed buttocks. Even as rampant commercialization threatens to drain spring break hot spots of their authenticity, enlightened coeds have discovered a new and exciting way to "go native": going missing.

When 19-year-old Miami of Ohio student Abby Serd returned from last year's excursion to Cabo San Lucas, she had more than a tan to show off to her sorority sisters. Serd brought back a thrilling tale of kidnapping, ransom, and an eventual rescue at the hands of US and Mexican authorities.

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SPRING BREAK REPORT | Girls gone mild

Spring break isn't all sun-dapped oceans, luminscent Midori shooters, hot love in the sweltering sun and dancing at La Boom.

According to a study in the American Medical Association: Roughly 40 percent of the study's participants said they regretted passing out, or not remembering what they did after having too much to drink during the break, meanwhile 13 percent stated they had been sexually involved with more than one partner in the span of the single week, according to the report.

Not mentioned: Ladies, if you get caught with drugs in Mexico, you might end up like Janet Leigh in Touch of Evil... without a sexy "Mexican" Charlton Heston to bail you out!

LOUISIANA STATE U. | Somber flashing

It's been a mellow Mardi Gras this year in New Orleans.  Students, tourists and a lot of locals doing their dangest to keep the spirit of joy, tit-flashing, and community spirit alive in the troubled city and raise some money to keep the construction efforts moving along. 

If you're in New York and wanna celebrate Mardi Gras and help out those still in need, the Village Voice offers some options. Or you can just stand in front of a mirror, flash yourself, do a shot of tequila, and then write out a check to the Red Cross.

More, via LSU's Reveille/ U-Wire...

KOLLEGE DAILY | Back on Tuesday

Thanks to all who've emailed me with kollege news/gossip.

I'm back on Tuesday. Meanwhile, I'm I'm resting my weary bones on scenic Martha's Vineyard, collecting erotic scrimshaw or whatever people do here. I'll be back on Tuesday.

oxoxox,
Linz

MARQUETTE UNIVERSITY | More than waffles: Belgium revealed

A Marquette University Tribune reporter broadens her intellectual horizons by talking to a student from Belgium. 

"I encourage everyone to go home and find Belgium on a map. Because if he doesn't like your tone regarding his country, I hear the king can still send people to your house. People with waffle irons."

More...

ARIZONA STATE U. | Students sell space on bodies for spring break

Four guys at Arizona State University are auctioning off their bodies on eBay as billboard advertising space in order to pay for their spring break trip to Mexico. Nice photos, boys...

Their highest bid so far? $960.  Dang, that's will barely cover one guy's travel, hotel, beer bong, and cheesy La Boom bracelet!

Reports say: The five are willing to try almost anything. If Coke, Pepsi or even Tampax want to plaster a billboard on the boys’ chests, they will do it.

More...

BRYN MAWR COLLEGE | White Christmas

Introducing Janet Lee. In 2003, when she packed her bags for a Christmas trip home, she included three condoms filled with flour. 

Why?  She thought they were funny and besides.  She and her friends could squeeze them to relieve stress.  Okay...

Well the joke was on Janet when initial tests showed that the condoms contained cocaine and opium.  Lee was arrested on drug trafficking charges, jailed, and faced 20 years in the pokey. Three weeks later, after the lab admitted that they goofed up, she was released.

Lee has just filed a federal lawsuit against the Philly police, seeking damages for pain and suffering, financial loss, and emotional distress.

Damn it, Janet.  You got screwed... next time, squeeze one of these.