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U-MASS DARTMOUTH | Stupid is the opium of the Mass-holes

In other idiot news, students, professors, journalists, pundits, janitors and ballerinas are all in an uproar over the University of Massachussets Dartmouth student  who made up a story about being grilled by federal antiterrorism agents over checking Mao's Little Red Book out of the library. 

According to reports, The story, first reported by the newspaper on Dec. 17, was picked up by other news outlets, triggered screeds on left-wing and right-wing blogs, spurred a flurry of concerned e-mails among UMass faculty, and appeared in a Globe op-ed piece written by Senator Edward M. Kennedy.

The hoax has been revealed and Clyde Barrow, chairman of the U-Mass Dartmouth's policy studies department (not to be confused with Clyde Barrow, bank robber and depression era icon)  wants the school to suspend the student and punishments for two faculty members who repeated the unsubstantiated story to the press.

OHIO STATE U. | More panty thievery

You survived finals, you schlepped home for the holidays, you were nice to your Grandma.  And what do you get?  You get robbed. 

According to reports, dozens of Ohio State University students returned from winter break to find their off-campus apartments ransacked by burglars.

Except these thieves bypassed the electronics and went straight for the jewelry, designer jeans, shoes, DVDs and sexy lingerie. 

When will people learn that panty thievery is not a victimless crime?  When?

NEW YORK UNIVERSITY | Goverment believes gay groups to be hot, dirty, naughty terrorists

Hey, gay NYU students!  Look sharp if your next protest includes a "Kiss-In" because Uncle Sam could be slipping you the tongue.

According to recent press reports, Pentagon officials have been spying on what they call "suspicious" meetings by civilian groups, including student groups opposed to the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" ban on lesbian, gay and bisexual military personnel...A February protest at NYU was also listed, along with the law school's LGBT advocacy group OUTlaw, which was classified as "possibly violent" by the Pentagon. A UC-Santa Cruz "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" protest, which included a gay kiss-in, was labeled as a "credible threat" of terrorism.

There are also reports that Air Force officials proposed developing a chemical weapon in 1994 that would turn enemies gay. Sister, please.  Sounds like wishful thinking to me...

U. of MEMPHIS | College student helps snag shoe obsessed sex psycho

Good job, Annette Brown!

Brown, a student at the University of Memphis is credited with helping police nab faux-firefighter/fashion perv Peter Braunstein. Braunstein, a former magazine writer, eluded police for 45 days after allegedly sexually assaulting a woman on Halloween in New York City.

Brown told Good Morning America, "I remembered his [Braunstein's] long eyelashes and a deep, empty look in his eyes — very unrepentant."

Interestingly enough, I've always found most fashion magazine editors and writers to have long eyelashes and deep, empty and unrepentant looks in their eyes. 

HARVARD, DREXEL and USC | Hope they minored in Legal Studies

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah, students! For the holidays, the Recording Industry Association of America has filed lawsuits against 751 people suspected of illegally distributing copyrighted music, including students at Drexel University, Harvard University and the University of Southern California.

The Minnesota Daily has a good piece about University of Minnesota student who woke up one day last year and found himself owing the RIAA $6,000 and in need of legal representation. Hope the kids that got busted at least got something interesting for their trouble. It would suck to have to obtain a lawyer just because you downloaded Britney Spear's "Toxic" because you secretly liked the song but but didn't buy the album because you didn't want your guy friends to think you were gay.

UNIVERSITY OF SOUTH FLORIDA | Uncle Sami

The legal and political saga of Sami al-Arian, a former computer-science professor at the University of South Florida and pro-Palestinian activist is a long and complicated one, way too much to get into here.  The trial is over and al-Arian has been acquitted of terrorism related charges.  For more on the man who once dined at the White House and appeared on TV with Bill O'Reilly, check out this decent sum-up in Time or if you've got a subscription, at the Chronicle of Higher Education. 

Found this photo from an article in  The Washington Post.  The bald one is Sami, the president is on his left.

KANSAS U. | DEBATE OVER INTELLIGENT DESIGN CAUSES IGNORANT BEAT-DOWN

So much for intellectual discourse.  A Kansas University religious studies professor Paul Mirecki, who gained recent notoriety for his Internet tirades against Christian fundamentalists, was on the receiving end of a nasty beat down. Mirecki said the men who beat him were making references to the controversy that has propelled him into the headlines in recent weeks regarding intelligent design.

According to recent reports: Mirecki recently wrote online that he planned to teach intelligent design as mythology in an upcoming course. He wrote it would be a “nice slap” in the “big fat face” of fundamentalists.

The remarks caused an uproar, Mirecki apologized, and KU announced last week the class would be canceled.

Well, it's good to know that two men in a pickup truck are declaring themselves the arbiters of academia.  Maybe Professor Cletus can teach courses like "Dinosaurs Are Myths" and "The Holocaust: Shit, Never Happened."

All kidding aside, this is actually turning into a big deal.  Mirecki is already considering a lawsuit against the university and the commentors from the right are already on the attack. This is a story to watch. 

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