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PRINCETON UNIVERSITY | Sex column of the week

Just because you've landed a perfect score on your SATs doesn't mean you're an expert at 69 (yuk, yuk.) 

Even Princetonians need advice from the Sexpert about "making a girl cum."

Vaginal orgasms are not always possible for all women, but for some, the outer third of their vagina is very sensitive, and when stimulated during intercourse or other forms of vaginal penetration, can cause an orgasm. The Grafenberg Spot, or G-Spot, is another matter. We're not actually sure if it exists or not, but it seems to be the consensus that if it does exist, not everyone has one.

I always called it the Steve Guttenberg spot, but anyway. 

Also, how to get your roommate to stop "sexiling" you.

My advice?  Stand outside the door playing Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" on your stereo, while sobbing loudly. 

That ought to kill their mood.

NORTHERN MICHIGAN U. | Girls rule, boys drool

The story: the number of male college students are falling.  There are a million ways to go with this story.

But leave it to Northern Michigan University North Wind sports writer RJ Walters chose this sensitive route:

If you're walking into a room where nearly six in 10 people are female, it doesn't necessarily mean you just opened the door to a salon or bridal shop. If the atmosphere around you is littered with purple and pink, it doesn't mean you're around a bunch of guys who are in touch with their feminine side. It could very well mean that you are entering a normal college campus that fits the statistical norm.

Because, like, the only place you'd find a room 60% women is a clearly a bridal shop or a salon. 

But wait! It could also be: a bordello, a Mary Kay convention, a Barbie auction, or a Lamaze clinic. But purple and pink, RJ?  That's so 80's...

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KOLLEGE DAILY | RIP Perkins loans?

According to reports, Democratic and Republican lawmakers are criticizing President Bush's proposed education budget, which calls for vast cuts in higher education spending and an end to the Perkins Loan program.

Perkins loans are favorable to its borrowers because of their low fixed-interest rate of 5 percent. Other loan programs carry rates ranging between 6.8 percent and 8.5 percent..

What does this mean?  Higher interest rates = you have more trouble paying back your loans. 

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BRADLEY U. and GEORGE MASON | But did they beat the spread?

Area bookies pay up big as eleventh-seed commuter school George Mason and thirteeth-seeded Bradley University defeat the beyond way-favored North Carolina and Pittsburgh, respectively.

U. of ARIZONA | Kiss me, I'm nauseous

I have one thing to say about St. Patrick's Day.

Green beer = green vomit.

But enough about me.

Before you get your Irish up and drink your weight in Guinness, you might want to make sure your fake ID is up to snuff.  Because kampus kops are onto you, "Army Lt, James Hapablap, from Sioux City, born 3/4/59."

Play safe, everyone.  Don't put the "shame" in shamrock. 

SPRING BREAK | Abduction is hot

Sigh.  I guess it wouldn't be Spring Break 2006 without a Natalie Holloway satire.

From today's Ridiculopathy: Eager to experience "local flavor" wherever they go, these brave souls seek out less sanitary bar-tops on which to shake their artfully-tattooed buttocks. Even as rampant commercialization threatens to drain spring break hot spots of their authenticity, enlightened coeds have discovered a new and exciting way to "go native": going missing.

When 19-year-old Miami of Ohio student Abby Serd returned from last year's excursion to Cabo San Lucas, she had more than a tan to show off to her sorority sisters. Serd brought back a thrilling tale of kidnapping, ransom, and an eventual rescue at the hands of US and Mexican authorities.

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KOLLEGE DAILY INTERNATIONAL! | Kiwi hammock haters

Only in a place as barbaric as Wellington, New Zealand, would a place of higher learning attempt to come between a student and his hammock.

CAL STATE SACRAMENTO | Windowpane acid

Cal State - Sacramento's Desmond Hall:  Party dorm or nightmare?

Then, imagine a guy petting the window of your dorm building for an hour because of his acid trip. "It was scary and funny at the same time," [one student] said.

I see it every day in my flashbacks.

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ARKANSAS STATE U. | Fear and loathing

Mom, you're embarassing me! 

A mother of an ASU student filed an incident report about possible hazing activities of the Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity.  She stated that her son was an Alpha Phi Alpha pledge until last night, but could not bear it any longer and is afraid of them now. She stated that her son came home the last two weekends and his left side was completely black, he could hardly walk, and had bruises on his buttocks...

Full story (last item)

INDIANA UNIVERSITY | Horror of switching majors drives girl to life of crime

Meet felonious fox and Indiana University student, Margaret "Maggy" Baurley: Alleged bank robber.

According to local news: The 4-foot-11 Baurley handed to a teller a note demanding money, police said.

Baurley's roommate told investigators that he had seen piles of $50, $20, $10 and $5 bills on her bed, police said.

Baurley, who once was a journalism major, used to write a column for the newspaper. In one column, she said she was switching her major from journalism to anthropology.

It's time she knew.  Crime, anthropology and journalism just don't pay.